


Yet Here We Are, Meme-ing

by gabbysqueek



Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: Canon Compliant, Gen, Gender Neutral MC - Freeform, Literally everyone - Freeform, Memes, Platonic Relationships, References galore, There might be some pining, as the japanese version intended, belphie is slightly yandere, belphie was locked in an attic with nothing but spare time, brief mention of death, but presented humorously for comedic purposes, chaotic energy, drabble-esque format, for one chapter, gratuitous yiddish, group chat format, i really wanted more solomon and mc human hijinks, i was inspired by meme lord Solomon, lucifer is tired, luke took a class on human media, mc got better, purgatory hall, some are disappointed by this, some general flirting, sorta - Freeform, spoilers for the later lessons, the house of lamentation, there might be a time or two where it leans female, unpopular headcanon: levi does not do human normie memes, well most of them anyway, write the fanfiction you want to see
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-12
Updated: 2020-08-01
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:15:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 6,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24151927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gabbysqueek/pseuds/gabbysqueek
Summary: MC found a fellow Meme Lover in Solomon...and is enjoying every minute of having their human references acknowledged.Starts with Solomon lending his magic to MC and follows the overall timeline of the lessons. Each chapter will be short (thus the drabble-esque tag) and presented in a text message friendly format (like the in-game chats).
Relationships: Main Character (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!) & Everyone
Comments: 56
Kudos: 281





	1. MC Can Have Some Fun, As a Treat

Beautiful music twirls and dances in time with the picturesque pairs sweeping across the dance floor. Soft laughter and warm voices fill the lull between songs, between dances, and between partners. MC admires the demons in their true forms whirling past them -- a bright and diverse array of wings, tails, and polished horns nestled among fine clothes and sparkling jewelry. It's a lovely day in the Devildom, and Lucifer thinks MC is a horrible human. MC winces slightly as Lucifer's grip tightens on their hand and wishes, not for the first time, that they were dancing with literally anyone else right now. 

Lucifer: MC. 

MC: Yes?

Lucifer: No funny business. I don't know what you are planning with Asmo, but let me warn you that it will not be tolerated. 

MC: I am not planning anything. 

Lucifer: Yet?

MC: ...

Lucifer: ...I thought so. Behave. 

Solomon: May I cut in? 

Lucifer: You may. 

MC: I am not planning anything. 

MC: With Asmo. :D 

Lucifer: !!!

MC: Don't worry, I am moderately sure nothing permanent will happen~! 

~~~

*while dancing*

Solomon: You can have a little of my magic, as a treat. 

MC: Gee, thanks Solomon.

~~~

MC: 🎵 What’s new Scooby-Doo 🎵

MC: 🎵 Coming after you 🎵

Solomon: 🎵 Gotta solve that mystery 🎵 

Levi: The humans are singing strange songs while running for their lives. Ridiculous. And sent! 

Asmo: Can all three of you please take this a bit more seriously?! 

~~~

MC: I mostly just rolled my eyes when Asmo warned me about your cooking skills but uh…

Solomon: Have something you want to say? 

MC: Solomon, your cooking is so bad even England could do better! 

Solomon: I met Arthur once. 

MC: ...You met who?! 

Solomon: *starts whistling as he continues cooking* 

MC: No, please, I need an explanation.

~~~


	2. Can Beelz Haz Cheezburgers?

There was something so fascinating about watching someone focus on a task so completely. Between the blue and greens splashing aquatic patterns on the floor and the unhealthy pale light of the flat screen television, MC could see Levi in perfect detail. Creased brows, clenched hands, twitching fingers, and foul curses the likes of which they had never heard falling from his lips as he ran from zombie pigmen. If not for the small smile playing about his lips, MC would have almost believed that Solomon was innocent of their current predicament. MC waited for the two to crash through the portal into their wip castle before they gently patted Levi on the head. Maybe a bit of teasing would loosen him up. 

MC: Levi.  
MC: Roses are red, violets are blue, can I put my Minecraft bed next to you?  
Levi: …  
Levi: No.  
Solomon: MC, Levi doesn’t do “human normie” memes.  
MC: Why not?  
Levi: They are so lame! And everyone knows them!  
MC: …  
Solomon: It is safer not to make a comment about this MC.  
MC: Are you seriously trying to tell me that Minecraft memes are too mainstream for you?  
MC: As we PLAY it?  
Levi: ...maybe...  
MC: F in the chat. He’ll just have to miss out on all the parody bops.  
Solomon: F  
~~~  
*heading towards the cafeteria*  
MC: Can Beelz haz cheezburgers?  
Solomon: Old meme MC.  
MC: You’re old, yet here we are.  
MC: Meme-ing.  
Solomon: …  
Solomon: Ceiling cat denies Beelz cheezburgers.  
MC: Oooh, the fight is on!!  
~~~  
Solomon: MC!  
Mammon: ?  
MC: Yeah?  
Solomon: Come with me loser, Asmo wants to go shopping.  
Mammon: Why ya gotta call them a loser? Or be Asmo's errand boy?  
MC: Okay, sure.  
Mammon: Now hold on...  
~~~  
Asmo: Ooh, hello beautiful!  
Asmo: Isn’t my eyeliner perfect today?  
Simeon: As always, Asmodeus. Good day to you too.  
Solomon: …  
MC: …  
MC: *plays opening of Careless Whisper*  
Solomon: MC, please. No.  
MC: :D  
~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MC is slightly tired of Levi's bull. They love him, mind, but who doesn't like Minecraft parody songs? Then again, they love Solomon too and he breaks out in goosebumps whenever one plays Careless Whisper. They still can't tell if it is a nervous reaction from thousands of decades being pact partners with Asmo or a deeper love for George Michael than they can ever hope to understand.


	3. Dear Celestial Realm...

Purgatory Hall is a quiet hall -- not by regulation or rule, but by its occupants. Solomon had no idea why Lord Diavolo had decided to place the two angels and himself in a building by themselves when MC had been placed in the House of Lamentation. By MC's own verdict, the quiet and studious nature of Purgatory Hall was welcome compared to the bedlam they constantly experienced with the brothers. MC had even jokingly offered to temporarily exchange rooms, but he would never trade the smell of baked goods and the Celestial Seasonings Simeon brewed every morning for rose perfume and chlorine. The only thing that would make Purgatory Hall better is if his dorm mates would allow him to help in the kitchen. He was vaguely offended that the tiny angel had not only refused his help, but insisted that he sit at the table away from the counters. 

Solomon: Luke, I promise not to help. Cross my heart and hope to die.  
Luke: I will stick one of Asmo’s cupcakes in your eye. Don’t test me.  
Solomon: Ah, you’re a brony?  
Luke: …  
Luke: You must be one too if you got the reference.  
Solomon: Sure, but I’m not embarrassed. Ancient sorcerers of chaos don’t feel shame.  
Solomon: MC will be so happy to have someone else to share their references with.  
Luke: Before you do that, let me text MC that picture of when Asmo did your makeup while drunk.  
Luke: No shame.  
Solomon: … I won’t say a word.  
~~~  
Simeon: Luke, surely you have discovered something positive during your stay here. We still have time, but surely…  
Luke: Well, I have discovered it is possible for me to make friends with demons.  
Luke: And I can use my powers more efficiently against the demon if I know the demon.  
Simeon: A low bar, but okay.  
MC: “Dear Celestial Realm, today Luke discovered friendship is magic. Literally.”  
Luke: …  
Luke: Solomon told you, huh?  
MC: Yeah, sorry.  
Simeon: He wouldn’t address his report that way MC.  
MC: That isn’t…  
Luke: Don’t bother, MC.  
Luke: But...I have some fantastic blackmail photos to share with you.  
MC: Oooh, yay!  
~~~  
MC: Hey Solomon?  
Solomon: Yes MC?  
MC: How many times do you think I can play What's New Pussycat before Satan kills me?  
MC: I personally believe I could play it four times in a row.  
Solomon: My personal vote is five. Six if the song is annoying Lucifer as well.  
MC: You have a bet.  
~~~  
Satan: Oh, MC look! This is a snail species native to the Devildom.  
Satan: It glows faintly in the dark, not as a self-defense mechanism, but as a mating practice.  
MC: Cool! *snaps photo*  
*ding*  
Solomon: ?  
Asmo: Oooooooh, a message from MC? Read it!  
Solomon: “Saw a snail today. Effervescent.”  
Asmo: ...I don’t think MC used that word correctly.  
Solomon: Nah, MC used it perfectly.  
~~~  
*ding*  
MC: A video from Luke?  
*Simeon saying ‘oh bother’ with filter yellow bear ears and mouth*  
MC: This is just adorable Luke. Tbh.  
MC: I’m keeping it forever.  
Luke: I doubt he minds.  
~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Satan is currently taking deep, calming breaths in his room. He regrets pulling out his human world laptop in an effort to understand MC's references. It led down a rabbit hole filled with bad vampire fiction, images called 'memes', quick spells called 'vines', and bad vampire fanfiction...that he most definitely had not spent four hours reading. Satan took another deep breath as that cursed song began quietly playing in the back of his head. "No murder," Satan told himself, "not today."


	4. Babysitting Duty

MC felt just a tiny bit awkward as they stepped inside. Bright flashes of light, a pounding bass, and the smell of some sort of incense seemingly crowded them in the entry way. Mammon was already shucking his trusty leather jacket into the hands of an overeager demon at the coat check in. MC debated keeping theirs on -- their clubbing outfit had only one pocket big enough to carry their DDD and exposed all of their arms to the weirdly cool air. That was the explanation MC was going with in case Mammon asked about the goosebumps. The fact that they increased as some kind of bat demon winked at them from across the dance floor was just a coincidence. MC waited for him to ask. He didn't. Go figure. MC dutifully follows Mammon down the stairs before stopping at the edge of the dance floor. 

MC: Mammon, I’m not too sure about this.  
Mammon: Don’t worry your pretty head about it.  
Mammon: We’ll have a grand time!  
MC: ...You left me by myself at that human club in London.  
Mammon: ...Well, yea, but…  
*Solomon slides down the banister*  
Solomon: MC, good evening.  
MC: Haha, seriously?!  
Asmo: Helloooooo you two!  
Mammon: You have company MC! So I’ll just…  
Asmo: Do NOT put me on babysitting duty, scum.  
MC: Hey!  
~~~  
MC: So this game has an RPG-esque style ending?  
Levi: It is a little odd for a dating sim...  
Lucifer: We just have to defeat it, right?  
Satan: Kill it you mean.  
Mammon: ...I hope so. I ain't taking Cerebus on a date.  
MC: Not that unusual Levi.  
MC: I once took a bird on a date AND defeated evil RPG style in the same game.  
Levi: In the same game?!  
Lucifer: You went on a date with a bird?  
Mammon: Willingly?  
Satan: I am sure you two are very happy MC is into birds, but please focus.  
Levi: Oh, right.  
~~~  
Satan: I just do not understand why you are so upset Levi.  
Levi: *grumble* This is why 2D women are better.  
Asmo: No! All women all queens!  
Levi: If she breathes, she’s a thot!  
Solomon: What did MC do this time Levi?  
Levi: :’( She cancelled our plans to do homework.  
Satan: You two were going to do homework together?  
Levi: No. She cancelled our plans to watch this new anime so she could do her homework.  
Satan: …  
Solomon: …  
Solomon: I cannot believe this. I am contacting MC right now.  
Levi: ! My true friend!  
Asmo: Solomon?!  
Solomon: I cannot believe that Asmo organically gave the correct response to Levi’s accidental “human normie” meme usage. *sends text*  
Asmo: Women are queens though? And kings? Lucifer played an empress once...  
Levi: I made a “human normie” reference? Ugh.  
Solomon: Oh, she responded. “Doesn’t surprise me at all.”  
Satan: All right. I can feel my brain cells dying. See you all later.  
~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MC low-key wishes Solomon would help them with their homework instead of texting them about Asmo's "organic meme usage". They already had to deal with a whiny Mammon that had made himself a nest on their bed, Beel and his cupboard of snacks, and Levi's constant pouty messages about the anime viewing party. MC sighs as Satan barges into their room, muttering something about dealing with idiots, and curls up in their spare desk chair much like the cats he so admires. Maybe Satan will help with their homework.


	5. Twisted Humor

MC had a faint inkling that something wicked was coming their way after Belphegor had just magically appeared in the living room. In the resulting chaos, MC half-jokingly had counted the seconds until Lucifer tried to kill them yet again for the secret they had kept and the efforts they had made. The wings had come out and MC was mentally prepared! Only it didn't happen...and MC had allowed themselves to feel a tiny bit of complacency for the first time since they came to the Devildom. Yet as they stood in the macabre embrace of Belphegor with his clawed hands around their neck and an unbalanced laugh on his lips, MC recalled that first premonition and cursed themselves. Beel would eat the human chocolate that Solomon had snuck in and Mammon would turn in an unedited essay...how unfair. MC also sent a brief apology to Asmo for borrowing his pink nail polish without permission before appealing to Belphegor for their life one last time. Not that it would work -- MC had watched him ravage animal crackers after all.

MC: Please! I was just trying to help! 

Belphegor: …

MC: I’ll do anything for you! Pwease hewp! 

Belphegor: Anything?

MC: Anything for you. :3 

Belphegor: Then perish. 

MC: *choking* Worth it. 

Belphegor:  **_Humans._ ** **What can you do?** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

~~~

Lucifer: Explain yourself Belphegor. Why did you do this? 

Belphie: I already apologized. 

Lucifer:  **Not sufficiently.**

Lucifer: You caused so much trouble. 

Belphie: Fine. I will offer another apology. 

Belphie: MC, I am just a sleepy cow boi. It was just a little murder uwu. 

MC: Pfft -- you have a twisted sense of humor. 

Belphie: You are the one that encouraged it. 

Belphie: I could not believe that your last words were wasted on a meme. 

MC: It was a toss up between that and “choke me harder”. 

Belphie: And my humor is twisted? 

MC: I panicked!

Lucifer: ...Am I to assume this means you have forgiven him MC? 

MC: He’ll have to work a bit harder for full forgiveness, but yeah. Why not lol

MC: It wasn’t permanent or anything. 

Belphie: Want it to be? 

MC: Ooh, mood. 

Belphie: I can take you out to dinner before I take you out.

MC: Smooth talker. ;) I accept. 

Lucifer: He will not. He is grounded.

Belphie: Tch! Spoilsport. 

~~~

Barbatos: ...and that is how you are still here today. 

Barbatos: Do you understand? 

MC: Your powers are a little op, don’t you think?

MC: Even an isekai protagonist would be super jealous. 

Barbatos: Do you understand? 

MC: Yes, yes, timey-wimey stuff. 

Barbatos: ...I will start over. Please let me know once I start to lose you. 

~~~ 

*during lunch*

Belphie: Beel, did you know that the humans did something interesting while I was locked away?

Beel: What did they do?

Belphie: They did surgery on a grape. 

Beel: Why?

Beel: What a waste of grapes. 

MC: Hahahahahaha!

Belphie: :)

MC: Solomon, I told you! 

Solomon: Welcome to the meme team Belphegor. 

~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MC feels like they should be holding a bit of a grudge against the seventh born, but they are just honestly surprised that he was the first one to actually kill them. Saying as much to Lucifer produced the most interesting expression they had seen on his face to date -- anger, frustration, grim acknowledgment, a tiny hint of shame, and pride battled for dominance. It was the brief spark of humor in his eyes that MC really cherished. Not enough to die a second time though. They would haunt Belphie if he succeeded again.


	6. MC Needs Sleep

MC doesn't like the look on Solomon's face. They are used to listening to Levi's ramblings about his interests -- usually they really like to listen, actually, because the Devildom has a whole new set of media for them to consume. This particular anime was one that they had even enjoyed watching so the news that a second season was being added was super exciting! It really reminded them of a few animes back home in a comfortingly familiar fashion... MC just wished that they could focus on the information gushing out of Levi, but Solomon had the strangest expression. And a twinkle in his eye. MC doesn't like this look whatsoever.

Levi: Ugh, I cannot believe they added three new students to  _ I Suddenly Have to Tutor the King’s Seven Sons or Die?! _ ! 

Solomon: :)

Solomon: Four new students?! The normies are taking over! 

Levi: No, Solomon, it was three new students…

MC: Please don’t make me say it. 

MC: Have mercy. 

Solomon: :) 

MC: *screams* I’m an adult virgin! 

Levi: ?! 

~~~

Asmo: Solomon, would you be a dear and hold this for me for a second? 

Solomon: Sure. 

Belphie: …

Belphie: This *coughs* thing is empty…

Solomon: Oh no. 

Solomon: MC? 

MC: Revenge is sweet. 

Solomon: … Yeet! 

Asmo: Solomon?? 

~~~

MC: I am absolutely exhausted. 

MC: All of my dreams have been really weird lately. 

Satan: Really? 

MC: Yeah…

MC: There was a disastrous picnic a few nights ago.

Beel: Ooh, a picnic. 

Levi: You are the reason why lolololol. 

MC: Ruri-chan idol event hell happened another night. 

Levi: Ooooooooh!! 

Belphie: Talk about a nightmare. 

MC: You guys probably sparkled in the sun in one. 

Satan: You have poor taste in literature MC. 

MC: “It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single  _ demon  _ in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.” Last night, I dreamt that Diavolo enacted this only with an Arabian twist. 

Satan: ...You are forgiven. 

MC: How did you even get that reference? ...Have you read it? 

Satan: ...I have no idea what you are talking about. 

Lucifer: Maybe you need to examine your sleeping schedule. 

MC: ...You’ve said that before in a dream. Only I didn’t get any sleep. 

Lucifer: ...Oh? Do go on. 

MC: *crying* None of you would actually sleep…!

Lucifer: Maybe you should sleep with me -- my brothers wouldn’t dare make noise there. 

MC: *crying intensifies* You said that too. 

~~~ 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MC knows exactly what these dreams are representing. MC knows, for example, that Luke would never be so careless as to switch syrups...with them there. Ugh, the animal dream. Don't even get MC started on the butler and animal dreams...MC doesn't enjoy being shamed by their subconscious. They fear that it would only get worse if any of the brothers actually tried to help them. Maybe that sleep potion was still up for grabs...


	7. Diavolo Likes Retreats

MC is actually quite fond of this particular retreat location -- compared to the desert-like weather of the Devildom and its lack of consistent sunlight, the snowy mountainside with its cheerful sun and slightly chilly breeze was an actual blessing. An infernal blessing. Lucifer had explained that Diavolo had decided to test the bonds of the brothers now that a new one had been added to the mix, but MC knew that Diavolo just wanted to have fun. As usual. They didn't particularly mind even as certain death loomed down below their hesitating form. 

MC: Are you sure it is safe for a human to ski down this slope?  
MC: I am pretty sure I see ice spikes at the bottom.   
Mammon: Of course!   
Solomon: 3/10, would only chaotically recommend.   
Mammon: The Great Mammon will do it with ya!   
Mammon: Ya ready?   
*Luke zooms past*   
Luke: I’m a giraffe!!   
Mammon: What the ---?  
Solomon: Pfft.  
MC: *yelling* Luke, have I mentioned that I love you?   
Simeon: I wonder if those skis make him feel taller?   
Mammon: Nah, I am pretty sure that ain’t it.   
~~~  
Solomon: MC, I missed an opportunity.   
MC: To do what? We are still here for another two full days, so surely...  
Solomon: We could have done the whole waterfall spiel like Kuzco and Pacha.   
MC: I mean, you are correct.   
Solomon: But?  
MC: I would have had to respond with "bring it on".   
MC: I was not ready to bring it on.   
Solomon: Understandable.   
~~~  
*towards the end of the retreat*   
MC: Oh no, Barbatos, what happened to your wrist?   
Barbatos: I sprained it, honored guest.   
MC: No need to be formal. It is only the two of us.   
MC: So how did you sprain it?   
Barbatos: ...You really want to know?   
Barbatos: I attend a human hula hooping class -- just in case Lord Diavolo wants to try it out someday.   
MC: Oh my demon.   
Barbatos: I have mastered all of the moves. *pulls out DDD*   
Barbatos: The pizza toss, the tornado, the scorpion, the oopsie-doodle.  
MC: Why...why are you telling me this?   
Barbatos: Because no one will ever believe you.   
MC: You sick son of a sea serpent.   
Barbatos: …  
MC: …  
MC: Do you think they heard us?   
Barbatos: :) I am sure. I heard a gasp of surprise and a sharp inhale from behind those chairs over there.   
Barbatos: Thank you for your assistance.   
MC: Always glad to be of help. Especially for harmless pranks like this.   
MC: May I ask how you actually hurt your wrist?   
Barbatos: ...Milord had me attend a break dancing class. He wants to hold a hip-hop dance competition.   
MC: Seriously?   
Barbatos: Unfortunately so.   
~~~   
Mammon: MC! Did you hear the rumor?!   
Asmo: Barbatos does hula hooping!   
Satan: I never pegged him as that kind of guy but...Lucifer looked gloriously tired and annoyed when I asked him about it.   
Mammon: Yea, it’s ‘cause the butler won’t say anything about it.   
Mammon: And Lord Diavolo won’t shut up about it.   
Beel: Hmm...Lord Diavolo mentioned something about a pizza toss.   
Satan: It’s a hula hoop move, Beel.  
Asmo: Anyway, isn’t that crazy? Think of how flexible he must be! <3  
MC: ...Is there a reason you are staring at me Solomon?   
Solomon: I can’t believe you’ve done this.   
~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The devils and demons seem to like gossiping. MC did not expect that particular rumor to spread, yet all of RAD seems to know. MC swears to remember that both Lucifer and Diavolo have loose lips...just in case.


	8. First Bad Ending

It has not been the best of weeks, MC acknowledges, and they understand that they really have been under lots of stress due to the increasing difficulty of the Tasks set out for them. Nonetheless, if they have to supervise one more dance battle with unfamiliar music or collect one more pair of orange sunglasses for Beel, they might explode. Who needs more than three or four mugs anyway?? How often do demons break their cellphone? MC knows that they need to take a break and planned on doing so...until their world shattered before them at the very last moment of the retreat. They wouldn't know Lilith from Adam...but the demon brothers probably know him too. MC adds "called or almost called Lilith one more time" to their mental list of prereqs for explosion. Take a deep breath MC. 

Simeon: Is something wrong, little lamb?   
MC: Can I have a hug?   
Simeon: No need to ask.   
Luke: What’s wrong MC?   
MC: Some things went down at the House of Lamentation.  
Solomon: This is different than usual...how?  
MC: I could handle it before, but...   
MC: They aren’t looking at me anymore.  
Luke: I am sorry, but I don’t understand.   
Simeon: Are they mistaking you for someone else?  
MC: It is a Rika -- Yoosung situation. First bad ending.   
Solomon: …  
MC: Don’t pretend like you don’t understand.   
Solomon: How did you know?   
MC: You went to school with the Mint Eye symbol on your arm.   
Simeon: References later, real situation now. What do you need?   
MC: I need to be recognized as who I am. Bad references and all.   
Luke: And desserts. Those help.   
Simeon: And hugs...and maybe time away from the brothers.   
Solomon: ...What is your comfort cartoon MC?   
MC: Phineas and Ferb.   
Solomon: Then we will watch that. We can have a sleepover. :)  
MC: After the party, sure!   
~~~   
MC: So yeah, I have a pact with Belphie now too.   
Luke: I hate to admit it, but that was pretty sweet for a demon.   
MC: Right?   
Solomon: 🎵 I was meant to be yours 🎵  
MC: …  
Solomon: 🎵 You were meant to be mine 🎵  
Solomon: You KNOW he was implying that.   
MC: Implying future murder or implying that he was a yandere?   
Solomon: The two are not mutually exclusive MC.   
~~~  
Solomon: ...And then he asked me to please provide something useful.   
MC: Seriously? What a jerk.   
Luke: Your advice was disregarded just like that? These demons are all putrid scum...  
Solomon: Thousands of decades under my belt, yet I cannot provide anything useful apparently. Including my hard-earned wisdom.   
MC: I am pretty sure that teacher has it out for humans. :/   
Belphie: I wouldn’t bank on the "wisdom" thing.   
Solomon: Oh?  
Belphie: One of your “pearls” was chopping a baby in half.  
Luke: ...ireallyhateitwhendemonshaveavalidpoint.   
MC: Uh...  
Belphie: He should offer the teacher the heebie-jeebies. He has nothing else to give.   
Solomon: What did I ever do to you בעהיימע? Personally, I mean.   
Belphie: געי סטראַסשע די גענס . האַלטן זייַענדיק אַזוי פרייַנדלעך. זי איז מיינס .  
Luke: …  
MC: Feel like translating for me Luke? I understood exactly nothing of that.   
Luke: Not particularly.   
Solomon: Tch --!   
~~~   
MC: Oh, a text.   
Mammon: From who?!   
MC: Solomon. “https://www.youtube/watch?v=THRtKGX-czY” I didn’t know that these kinds of links worked here. Think of all those lost opportunities...  
Mammon: Are ya going to listen to it?  
MC: Yes, so please quiet down.   
MC: …  
*ding*   
MC: “Thought of you and your latest pact ♡”  
Mammon: Latest pact...Belphie? Lemme listen human!   
MC: No.   
~~~  
Solomon: MC texted me back.   
Asmo: Why wouldn’t you let me listen to the song you sent to MC! :(   
Solomon: I’ll let you listen to this one. “Solomon, no need to be dramatic. Belphie isn’t like that at all. This song suits the situation better: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ”   
Solomon: Shall we listen to it together?  
Asmo: Yes!   
Solomon: …  
Asmo: …  
Solomon: How dare. I should have seen that coming.   
Asmo: It’s catchy~! I like it!   
Asmo: Awww, sweet sentiments too! ♡  
Solomon: MC, we may be friends, but I am not above cursing you. Sent.   
Solomon: “Is Asmo enjoying it? ♡”   
Solomon: I hate you.   
~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (I apologize for the probably messed up Hebrew.) Translated, Solomon: “cow’s head”, but it means “fool”. Belphie: "Go threaten the geese" (implication that the speaker is not threatened at all) followed by "stop being so friendly, MC is mine."   
> MC wouldn't have known what to do with this information, but Luke does. He is going to tell Barbatos who will tell Lord Diavolo and Simeon who may or may not tell Lucifer who will ask Belphie not to start fights with shady sorcerers in front of all of the brothers who may or may not tell everyone on their contact lists because why not? It becomes an open secret by the end of the next day, yet MC remains blissfully unaware of the translation and what the words imply. Belphie finds this extremely amusing. Solomon does not. Luke is apologetic.


	9. Is Anyone Going to Ask?

There was a really nice breeze in the campus squad today that teased the pieces of homework MC was desperately trying to finish before class. Only one assignment, barely two sentences, but the present company was boisterous and touchy. It was very distracting -- welcoming and appreciated after the fiasco that was the sister situation, but still distracting. They almost wished that someone would call them away so they had an excuse to find a nice, quiet classroom somewhere. Two sentences would take barely any time at all in that kind of environment. MC just hoped that the other brothers wouldn't try looking for them once they made their escape.

Solomon: Hey, MC? The teacher wants to talk to you. 

MC: Oh, oka --

Asmo: Absolutely unacceptable. 

Beel: Why? 

Asmo: Have you seen what Solomon is wearing? I am ashamed to call him a dearest pactmate! 

Beel: He is wearing his normal clothes…

MC: I don’t see a difference? 

Asmo: No! Look at his feet! What  **are** those? 

Solomon: Hahaha! 

MC: ...Did you plan that? 

Asmo: I hope not! It must have been a mistake! 

Beel: Those look comfortable. 

Solomon: They are. 

Asmo:  **No.** I will not allow you to wear those. 

MC: I’m siding with Asmo here. 

Solomon: :( 

~~~ 

Satan: Ah, MC, could I ask you for a favor?

Satan: It is my turn to drag Mammon back from the human world, but I have dinner duty as well. 

Satan: I wish he would think of my schedule when causing trouble…

MC: Not today, Satan. 

Satan: …

MC: …

Satan: MC, really --

MC: Just kidding, I can do that. You’ll owe me though. :3

Satan: I’ll bring you back a KitKat. 

MC: Yay, thank you!

~~~

Beel: What are these called again?

MC: Doritos. I cannot believe Mammon bought you some. 

Mammon: Oi, whaddya mean by that?!

MC: The dust gets everywhere you know. 

Mammon: Bold of ya to assume he’ll leave any speck of flavored dust to escape. 

Beel: MC, would you like one?

MC: No, thank you. I have bad memories involving them…

Mammon: Bad memories involving a human chip? Keh, humans. 

MC: In my defense, it was a demonic, evil Dorito with glowing blue hands. :/ 

MC: And then my friend sent me questionable fanart involving one of their Superbowl commercials. 

Mammon: Oi, human, speak words we can understand. 

Mammon: Can’t help otherwise. 

Beel: Just point me to the demon. I’ll eat it for you. 

MC: How strangely reassuring. Thank you. 

~~~

MC: Mammon has been tailing me recently. 

Lucifer: *facepalm* 

Satan: Oh? 

MC: Barbatos gave me a pair of sapphire hair pins the other day.

MC: He has been following me ever since. 

MC: It is starting to annoy me. 

Levi: lololol, first time?

Satan: Have you asked him to stop? 

Beel: Want me to stop him? 

Belphie: I will stop him. 

MC: Really, don’t worry. He’s done this before. 

MC: And he won’t actually steal them. 

Levi: And you didn’t say anything earlier? 

MC: He once texted me “I’ll be watching you MC” in the house chat. 

MC: He isn’t exactly subtle. 

Belphie: 🎵 Every breath you take... 🎵

Belphie: Wait. 

MC: Yeah, I am not sure how I feel about you singing that line xD 

Asmo: Is anyone going to ask why Barbatos gave MC sapphire hair pins??

Mammon: That’s what I’ve been asking! 

~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The key to having multiple demons bringing you back treats from the human world when they have to visit for Avatar reasons, MC muses, is to make sure that they don't know of each other. Marzipan from Lucifer, colorful lollipops from Asmo, KitKats from Satan, chips from Mammon, pocky from Leviathan, and sticks of Bubblegum from Beel (and only because gum inhibits his ability to eat other foods, but he usually tosses in small trinkets and stickers as well the sweetheart...). According to their knowledge, they haven't figured out they each do it. MC knows the most difficult part of this mission is keeping Belphie from figuring out while his human world ban still stands -- MC isn't sure they can handle the Olympic-level pouting once he realizes he can't do the same. Unfortunately for MC, he already knows and he is fortunately not above bribery.


	10. Thanks Dad!

MC was finishing their first class of the morning -- the third in a rather dry lecture series about the uses of infernal flame as opposed to divine fire -- when their DDD dinged. Luckily, the professor was putting his materials away so MC had a chance to sneak a look. Beel had sent a photo of Belphie curled up into a defensive ball in the corner of the Archaic Languages classroom. Most of the demonic classmates were giving him a wide berth while sporting looks of bemusement and slight fear. And he had sent this photo why...? Were they supposed to do something about it? And more importantly, would they still have time to text the Purgatory Hall group chat before the next class started? 

Beel: Sorry to ask this MC, but would you do something?

MC: What do you mean “do something”? About what?

Beel: Belphie has been rocking back and forth muttering apologies. 

Beel: I can’t get him to stop. 

MC: Try showing him this face. 

Beel: *photo received* ??? Okay…

Beel: …

Beel: What is the “neutral face of displeasure”? 

MC: Did it help? 

Beel: Yes? A little...he smiled before curling up further…

MC: The rest is up to you buddy. Best of luck. 

~~~

MC: Can I sleep over at Purgatory Hall again tonight? 

Simeon: You are always welcome! 

Luke: Baking and movie night~! 

Solomon: Any particular reason why? 

MC: The boys have been driving me crazy ever since Barbatos gave me those hair pins. 

MC: Mammon is trying to steal them. Beel tried to eat them. 

MC: Luci is trying to make me return them...

MC: Belphie is in an emo corner because he accidentally mentioned that time he killed me. 

Luke: Excuse me, what? 

MC: Not important. 

Solomon: As you can see, she got better. 

Simeon: When has MC ever been a newt? 

MC: …

Solomon: …

Luke: WhAt?

Simeon: You need to be more responsible with your spell-casting Solomon. 

Solomon: You got that reference?! 

Simeon: I am not uneducated. 

Luke: What is this referencing? 

MC: A movie you should not watch. 

Solomon: Well, if Simeon has seen it…

Simeon: :) No. He’s not old enough. 

Luke: I’m older than MC! 

~~~

MC: Hey guys, could someone cover my breakfast cooking shift tomorrow? 

Satan: I can. 

MC: Thank you! 

Asmo: Oooh, does someone have overnight plans? ♡ 

Lucifer: MC hasn’t asked for permission yet, so I am  **assuming** no. 

Beel: Permission? 

Levi: The normie has a curfew lolol. 

MC: Oh, I knew I was forgetting something. 

MC: May I spend the night at Purgatory Hall tonight?

Asmo: Ehhh???

Asmo: You can’t have a sleepover!! 

Mammon: Oi, human, ya can’t just drop news like that on us! 

Lucifer: …

MC: I’ll have a chaperone.

Lucifer: Simeon hardly counts as a chaperone MC. I know the kind of things that happen at “sleepovers”. 

Satan: Seconded. 

Asmo: Thirded! 

Levi: Wait, why doesn’t he count as a chaperone? 

Levi: What do you think a human sleepover is? 

Beel: You won’t be as safe there. 

Mammon: And who knows what that shady mage will do to ya! 

MC: I was actually referring to Luke. 

Mammon: The chihuahua? 

Satan: It is not like the dog will let anything happen to MC under his watch. 

MC: It would be rather redundant to summon demons at this sleepover, so I don’t know why you are all so worried lol. 

Lucifer: Permission granted as long as you are back at the House of Lamentation before noon and send regular texts regarding your current safety.

Levi: Who would do that? Lolololol

MC: Same Levi. I will send one when I arrive. Thanks for the permission  **_Dad_ ** ! 

MC: And I grabbed everything I needed this morning before school, so toodles!

Mammon: Hold up! 

Satan: It seems MC wasn’t going to ask permission at all,  **_Dad_ ** . 

Lucifer: …

~~~ 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MC knows for absolute certain that the last comment will bite them in the butt later, but it was oh so worth it. It wasn't their fault Lucifer was acting so ridiculously high and mighty about a sleepover. Exactly what kind of impression do they all have of a sleepover anyway? The worst that could happen is demon summoning, but that would be Solomon...with Asmo or maybe Barbatos. Oh no~ So scary and scandalous. Maybe they need to hold a human friendship culture lecture to avoid this kind of thing in the future...Diavolo will definitely greenlight the idea.


	11. Purgatory Hall Sleepover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Those new chapters though...and that absolutely adorable dancing Solomon chibi...I love him. :D

MC thought the whole night was going swimmingly! Solomon had managed to secure three human world movies that neither of the angels had seen, along with human popcorn, and Luke had spent the whole time between the end of school and the scheduled sleepover baking with Simeon. It was a pleasure to see people react to the twist that was a well-known spoiler in the human world for the first time. Good company, good food, and a completely shut off DDD so she didn't have to deal with anyone needling them for not being at the House of Lamentation for once in their whole exchange trip. Yet somehow...Lucifer's text message still came through with what was the equivalent of a shrug from Karasu. Spoilsport.

MC: As promised  **_Dad_ ** , a photo proving I am totally fine. 

Lucifer: Is there a reason Luke is wielding a glowing sword? 

Lucifer: And what exactly is Solomon smoking? 

Lucifer: Explain the photograph,  **child** , or I will collect you myself. 

MC: It’s called a lightsaber, nothing dangerous. He’s a Luke that walks in the sky after all. 

MC: He’s smoking the Celestial Realm equivalent of a Capri Sun. 

Lucifer: Terms I can understand. 

MC: Lightsaber=toy from a human movie. Capri Sun=juice pouch. It’s called Seraphim Breath. 

Lucifer: ...Very well. 

~~~

*at the Purgatory Hall sleepover*

MC: Solomon, Luke, important question while these cinnamon rolls cool. 

Solomon: Okay.

Luke: ?

MC: Cinnamon roll scale for our mutual acquaintances? 

Solomon: A tough question...Belphegor is a cinnamon roll that can and will kill you. 

Luke: Asmodeus is a sinnamon roll. 

MC: Agreed. Luci looks like he could kill you, can and will kill you.

Solomon: I was thinking that for Satan actually. Lucifer is a stale cinnamon roll -- too long in this world. 

MC: Ooh, excellent point! 

Solomon: Mammon looks like he could kill you, is actually a cinnamon roll.

Luke: ...Leviathan looks like a cinnamon roll, is a cinnamon roll. 

MC: Beel makes the cinnamon rolls. And eats them too. 

Solomon: Lord Diavolo is a burnt cinnamon roll. 

MC: Agreed. 

Luke: Yep. 

Luke: I would like to suggest that Barbatos also makes the cinnamon rolls, but can and will kill you. 

MC: A hybrid? Accepted. Solomon?

Solomon: Accepted. 

Solomon: Just one more. 

Luke: Simeon! 

*Simeon enters the kitchen and grabs a cooling cinnamon roll* 

MC: Cannibalism. 

Simeon: *confused chewing* 

Simeon: What?

~~~

Luke: Are you sure that you want to sleep in here? 

MC: Yep, this works perfectly fine for me! 

Solomon: Let MC be a scaredy-cat Luke. 

Luke: It wasn’t scary though…

Luke: And MC lives with demons. 

MC: Demons that argue over the remote Luke. Ooh~ Spooky~ 

Solomon: Coraline is hardly worth sleeping with the lights on. 

MC: I draw the line at living dolls trying to sew buttons in your eyes. 

Luke: I always thought the sudden hand appearing out of nowhere scarier! Imagine that crawling from beneath the sofa and tugging at your blanket!

Simeon: Luke...

Solomon: Or living in an unknown house starting with a P with secret passageways everywhere -- knowing that you could wake up with everything replaced by near-copies of those you love. : )

Solomon: Oh my, isn’t there a story in Purgatory Hall about someone that was stuck here because they accidentally made a deal with a demon? 

Luke: Oh, yes! Barbatos told me about it when we all moved in. 

MC: … 

Simeon: Both of you, go to bed. MC, scoot over. I will stay in this room with you to make sure nothing happens. 

Simeon: Under my watch,  **nothing will happen.**

Solomon: Tch, you are no fun. 

~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MC was just grateful that Solomon didn't bring another, more scary movie to the sleepover. They weren't sure they could have handled it. Bless Simeon, curse Solomon for finding their weakness, and apology accepted from a very contrite Luke the next morning. They just hope that Solomon doesn't tell the brothers anything...


	12. FreeStyle Dance Instructor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, stuff has been crazy! Please enjoy the meme-squad (+one) in all of their glory at one of Diavolo's formal dance parties! :D

There were countless magazines on the pink bedspread. MC tried to be flattered at the amount of human magazines intermingled with the Devildom fashion spreads, because it meant that he had done his research properly! They wanted to be proud even! A little giddy that Asmo really did want to do them right for this event...but it was hard to muster up anything but fond annoyance at whatever nightmare Asmo was delicately projecting via illusion magic on his vanity mirror. Maybe asking for hairstyling help from a demon with flawless hair that had yet to convince Levi to do _something_ with his bangs was _foolhardy..._

Asmo: You need to look your best MC! What do you think of this?

MC: I would look like a moose. A humoose if you will. 

Asmo: A very attractive moose! You’ll make all the humans go waaah! 

Asmo: Look, we’ll ask Solomon. 

Asmo: “Waaah!” 

Asmo: See~! I knew he would react like that! 

MC: Me too...crazy…

MC: Please choose a different hairstyle.

~~~

MC: Levi, I know you think I’m a normie…

MC: But please give me more credit! All three of those dresses are cosplay outfits. I need something  **properly** formal. 

Levi: Pssh, how would you know? This is just Devildom fashion! 

MC: …

MC: I can see Ruri-chan dolls wearing two of those outfits. 

MC: The other was one worn by Henry in the TSL anime Mammon and I borrowed from you a while ago. 

MC: Also, what do  _ you _ know about Devildom fashion?

Levi: Geez, okay, shut up! 

Levi: ...My fashion is better than Satan’s though, right? 

MC: Oh, yeah, definitely. 

~~~ 

*at a formal event held by Diavolo*

Lucifer: I insist that you dance with each of my brothers at least once MC. 

MC: … But I can’t do any proper dances…

Lucifer: Proper dances? 

Belphie: Don’t worry, MC. 

Belphie: I’ll be your freestyle dance instructor for the evening. 

MC: …!! Luci is going to kill you. 

Belphie: *starts jamming* 

Lucifer:  Belphegor . 

Solomon: I will --pfft-- dance a human dance with MC. 

Solomon: I am sure they know it. 

Lucifer: ...Very well. 

MC: I have a really bad feeling…

Solomon: Asmo or Levi? Choose. 

MC: ...Levi

Solomon: Excellent. 

*starts doing the Caramelldansen* 

MC: …

MC: Why the heck not? *joins*

Lucifer: …

Diavolo: What a charming human dance! What is it called? 

Belphie: The caramel dance. 

Belphie: It is Swedish :) 

Lucifer: MC, Solomon. Enough is enough. 

Lucifer: Won’t you two please behave? Consider the location, atmosphere, and Diavolo’s position. 

Belphie: …

Diavolo: …

Lucifer: He is the top of the Devildom and I will not have…

Solomon: 🎵 He is number one. 🎵

MC: My time has come. *pulls out kazoo* 

Lucifer: … What? 

Diavolo: Ooh, what human custom is this?

*Solomon and MC start dancing*

Solomon: 🎵 Now listen closely... 🎵

Belphie: 🎵 ...here is a little lesson in trickery… 🎵 *joins them*

Beel: Belphie, where did you learn that? 

Lucifer: …  Stop . 

Simeon: Ara, what is this? 

Luke: 🎵 ...this is going down in history… 🎵 *joins them* 

Simeon: Luke??? 

Diavolo: Barbatos. 

Barbatos: My Lord? 

Diavolo: What is this? 

Lucifer: Surely some sort of foolish joke they came up with. 

Barbatos: Well…

Barbatos: 🎵 ...if they want to be number one… 🎵

Belphie, Luke, MC, Solomon: *cheers* 

Diavolo: Barbatos? 

Lucifer: *heavy sigh* 

~~~

Satan: Levi, can you explain? 

Levi: Explain what? 

Beel: The humans were doing something they called the caramel dance?

Levi: The...caramel dance…? It sounds familiar but…

Asmo: Demonstrate Satan! That might help!

Satan: …

Satan: Very well. *starts dancing*

Belphegor: You know Levi, like ~nya~

Levi: !!! They did the Caramelldansen?! 

Levi: ...Without me?! 

Mammon: Ain’t their fault you were hiding away instead of dancing.

~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MC was horribly curious about what the dance would have been had they chosen Asmo instead of Levi. Solomon was only too happy to demonstrate the Macarena in the hallway during next week's exams. He was practically ecstatic to teach Diavolo how to do it too...if only for the look of abject horror Lucifer had when he turned the corner. MC wondered, for one brief moment, if they would be able to outrun Lucifer should the horror turn to anger. Or worse...Disappointment. Imagine their pleasure when Diavolo managed to convince him to join. The high five shared with Solomon afterwards surely would help them pass their exams. :D


	13. Uno Reverse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This little fanfic was originally intended to end at this point -- after all, at the time, this was caught up to the lessons. However...with all of these new lessons, I will probably include more adventures! More memes! More references! More Solomon yeeting MC through portals. :D Thank you all so very much for reading!

Compared to the depressing party atmosphere upstairs, MC was almost pleased to feel the familiar “oh demon carp I’m about to be lectured” atmosphere in the study. If given their own preference, they would have liked a simple movie night with snacks and a giant cuddle pile for their last night. Not keeping a smile to keep Asmo from bursting into tears again, to keep Mammon from disappearing to mope, to keep Belphie from doing something drastic, to keep Levi from...MC just really wanted to have a quiet but lovely evening. At least in this room, under the patriarch's watchful gaze, they didn’t have to keep up the smile if they didn’t actually feel it. Lucifer’s awkward, microscopic shuffling was encouraging a natural grin though…

Lucifer: So it has come to this…

MC: Haha, yeah, haha…

Lucifer: Is there anything you still need to do before you leave? 

MC: Yep, you. 

Lucifer: ... **Excuse me** ? 

MC: I mean, you are the only brother I didn’t make a pact with! I know that my constant human references bothered you, but I think you found them endearing. 

Lucifer: On what basis? 

MC: I’m not dead yet? 

Lucifer: Touché. 

Lucifer: Very well. I will make this pact, but I will  **not** belong to you.  **You** will belong to me. 

*pact circle begins forming beneath their feet* 

MC: …

MC: *throws Uno reverse card on the floor just as it finishes* 

Lucifer:  What?

*Uno card disintegrates as Pride symbol flashes* 

Lucifer: ...You have got to be joking.  Really?!

MC: Whew, what a gamble! It worked! 

Lucifer:  **MC** . 

MC: Noooo, hahaha, you’re so sexy, don’t kill me, hahaha. 

*Lucifer stops and preens* 

MC: …

Lucifer: …

Lucifer: Not a word. 

~~~

MC: Solomon, I caught them all! 

Solomon: Congratulations on surviving. How did you manage it? 

MC: I’ll text you about it later. I have to get off the phone. 

Solomon: Why? 

MC: ...don’t breathe a word to anyone, but peacocks like cuddles evidently.

MC: I can feel the disapproving look for not devoting my full attention to him digging into my back. 

Solomon: Oh okay. 

Solomon: Wait, he likes cuddles and attention? Like Asmo?! 

MC: Yep! He must’ve learned it from his older brother. ♡

Solomon: I need time to process this information. 

MC: See you tomorrow!

~~~ 

MC: I...I don’t really want to leave. 

MC: I’ve had a fantastic time here.

MC: Found a new cuddle buddy. 

Lucifer: …

Diavolo: But the exchange program has finished, MC. 

Diavolo: At least...temporarily. 

Barbatos: Think of it as a vacation. 

Lucifer: … 

MC: Oh.

MC: But still…

Solomon: MC, don’t worry. You can come visit me if you like.

Solomon: After all, 🎵 there are 104 days of summer vacation 🎵 

Lucifer: Oh, for the love of --!! 

MC: …

Solomon: I am  **sure** we can find a good way to spend it.

MC: ...Okay, thank you. :’) 

Diavolo: We’ll see you two soon, 

Diavolo: I am  **sure** of it. 

~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MC had a feeling that this...was not the end.

**Author's Note:**

> MC has concerns that will not be addressed -- MC is used to this. It really was too much to ask that the Demon Brothers stop having fights near their bedroom, stop texting them in the middle of the night, and warn them about jilted portraits and giant snakes thriving in the Castle dungeons. They are just thankful someone gets their references and makes some of his own.


End file.
